Posts tagged ‘Happy’

It’s a Perfect Day

Gray clouds, wet pavement outside; I sit on the couch with my usually chaotic and playful cat at rest, snoring away behind me. His tiny breath, being drawn in heavily with a whistle then gently exhaled out; he drapes across the back of the couch, like a big cat in a tree, one white paw touching my shoulder. Another beloved, a soft and aged, wise old fellow who has mastered sleep, is curled up in a nook of the cat tree that sits in the corner of this peaceful scene. His breath is rhythmic, a somnifacient meditation. I feel a deep, maternal tug at my heart, when I hear these sounds. Adding to my comforts, my late-morning breakfast still fills the house with the sweet smell of toasted coconut pancakes, as I sip chai and type away, an armchair-philosopher and -activist on this drizzly day, posting lengthy comments and responses across my friends’ Facebook pages.
I am content.

Sam Sleeping

2015-06-07 00.50.10 (3)

“The believing we do something when we do nothing is the first illusion of tobacco.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

That’s it, I quit! Let me rephrase that; let this be my letter of resignation, or cessation, as need be throughout this address to you, my self-imposed torment.

Let me define those two words for you, as shown in my beloved Merriam-Webster(M-W):

res·ig·na·tion noun \ˌre-zig-ˈnā-shən\
Definition of RESIGNATION
1  a : an act or instance of resigning something : surrender
b : a formal notification of resigning

2: the quality or state of being resigned : submissiveness

ces·sa·tion noun\, seˈsāSHən/
Definition of CESSATION
the stopping of a process or activity <the cessation of the snowstorm was a relief>

I particularly like the example used for cessation by M-W, in this case “The cessation of the snowstorm was a relief.” for its use of the word relief. My resignation brings to me a sense of relief. My cessation brings me a renewed life.

I used to enjoy your company, now it feels like a sheer boredom, slow torture, and it makes me feel disgusted with myself, each and every day.

Other options for living, if I resign, have been shown to me, over and over. Other examples of what happens – including “dying at my desk”, if I stay, also have been shown to me. I have tried leaving you behind before: leaving behind the impact on my finances, my quality of living, my joy of facing the day…of enjoying my whole day. You take my energy and my breath away (and that is not meant as a compliment). Day-to-day life is spoiled by your constant interruption into my productivity, yet I crave your insistence at stopping by and wasting my time. Like listening to a broken record, which I choose to leave in the ruined groove, I sit and take it. Well, not any longer.

You stink. Your whole purpose and effect upon how others treat me is toxic. “She is such a smart lady, why doesn’t she just QUIT?”  Your toxicity has rubbed off on me and made ME stink. You have helped me put others lives in jeopardy, with the second-hand effects of letting myself stay with you.

Why I stay with you in this place has always baffled me, until now. Somehow,I have been given the keys to the front door, the dungeon door, and I am letting myself out of your jail; well, really, I did join the club, so I would have to say my self-imposed jail. I chose this sentence of twenty-seven years and have managed to make it out on occasion, but for some reason I would return, always for the worst reason. This has happened at least three times and I believe the third time is the charm, but this time the charm is for ME, not you. You don’t have a “company person” that stays until the day she dies. I am not sorry if that disappoints you. In fact I couldn’t give a damn now.

I USED to return to you. You, with your false offers of relaxation, illusionary status with the “cool kids” and an old familiarity, so I would do something to break my freedom – my probation, by another name – and I return. Well, not this time. I have found a better way out. There is a way to get to a better place that offers me a higher income, sanity, a less stinky environment, and relief from the danger and pain, which daily I put myself through with being here with you. Your company is no longer needed and again I say, YOU STINK, SMELL, ARE ACRID, FETORED, DISTASTEFUL and put plainly, just unpleasant with which to be involved.

So, as of the twenty-third of November, 2010 – after I ease out of my position, my participation in your dirty little club, finish my work, so to speak – I QUIT! I have a strong team backing me up this time. Even health professionals to assist me get my body and head straight again, regarding the damage, which my interaction of being in your company has managed to put into me. People who I can call upon to remind me that you are (that will be a “were”) doing nothing but: raising my blood pressure; aging me faster than I should; literally, taking my air away; putting me at risk for self-harm over and over (some, which can kill me and I hope doesn’t linger when I depart your company); helping me influence my young nephews, and others, to follow in my erroneous choice to join your company; lumping me into a club that I don’t want to belong to ever again; and driving me insane with frustration at my own stupidity and dallying in quitting you.

There are so many reasons for my resignation: happiness, freedom, chances at trying new things in my new position in life, living a long life filled with hope and, I reiterate, a bigger bank balance and better benefits. Plus I won’t stink. You know they say that when you lay down with dogs, you get up with fleas. Well, in this case it is true.

I know you think I will be back and fall into your trap of control and seeming ownership of my very life and soul, but, you know what? It won’t happen this time. There is too much life out there to live and too many opportunities. I even have offers already, which are filled with better opportunities for growth and feeling good in what I do every day; New chances! It is like the illusion, the cloud of smoke you produce in your false promise of comfort and ease, is dissipating as I type these words.

I hereby give my notice to you Phillip Morris and Altria Company.  May you disappear in a puff of smoke. And no, thank you, I won’t need a letter of recommendation, as I choose not to approach any of your cronies to get re-involved or participate in your industry any longer.

Stubbing you out. Bye!


Carol Bourns-Roberts

p.s. If you see me around, don’t worry about saying “Hello”, as I won’t acknowledge you.

M.C. Escher

If you choose to submit your “resignation” letter also – I used 1-800-QUIT NOW, a Washington State service – here are some great tools:

Your Quit Smoking Toolbox

5 Minute Craving Busters


American Heart Association

The Office of the Surgeon General

Women’s Health. Gov

American Cancer Society

SmokeFree NHS Choices (for UK readers)


Best Way to Quit Smoking (Blog)

Cigarettes Flavours (Blog)

QUIT NOW – this is the one I used. There are some touching letters that people have written to themselves that inspired me to write this letter of resignation. They are even sending me four-weeks worth of free patches, and unlimited phone counseling, as my economic situation isn’t at its best at the moment. Bless them.

There are many options to quit. Please try now. If you go back to the old, dirty habit, just keep coming back to this journal entry and remind yourself why it is good to quit. Write yourself a letter as to why you want to quit and read it EVERY DAY. I promise you that it will help. Get supporters to help you stay away from the “bad company”. Believe me, you will thank yourself every day your breathing gets better and you can do things that you were limited in before, such as play with your children, exercise, walk with friends without getting out of breath, having to spend all that money on something that is killing you, etc. Not to mention having to step outside to smoke in the rain.

“As the purse is emptied the heart is filled.” – Victor Hugo

13 days and counting down…
Help-Portrait Date for ♥’Hamsters Helping Bellingham ♥ is December 11, 2010.


“No person was ever honored for what he received.  Honor has been the reward for what he gave.”
– Calvin Coolidge

In this case, the honor given would be that you have helped someone receive a gift that will honor them and make them feel special. Your donation will help many hearts feel warmth this holiday season by supporting a one-day environment that will inspire both photographer and portrait subject. The gift recipients, for many years to come will have a picture or two that will remind them of that special day when someone did something for them, “Just because….” Nothing is asked of them in return but that they enjoy the day and be treated by the volunteers – and all involved – with the respect they deserve . Everyone involved in the project, Help-Portrait / ‘Hamsters Helping Bellingham, will still receive the gift of happiness from them. To me that seems a reciprocal honor. What could be better?

Give a little, feel great about helping a worthy cause!

All purchases made for the event are accounted for by receipt and detailed expense report, then sent to the non-profit group Help-Portrait (H-P), who will then receive/gather, review and approve all receipts and reimburse the original purchasers with monies from the donation fund for each H-P group. Again, I will mention that ours is Hamsters Helping Bellingham!

SO, as you can see, this will literally come out of the local event coordinator(s)’s pocket, namely ME, and anyone who kindly fronts  money or products – believing in this event – for necessary items, if donations are not made. Donations “in kind” are still being debated amongst H-P and their legal team, so hopefully there will be civic-minded, huge-hearted, caring individuals that will donate in-kind type items and services on a wing and a prayer, “Just because…”

p.s. If you live in the Bellingham/Whatcom co. area and would like to volunteer just let me know. I can be contacted at There are many positions open: greeters, photographers, print/editing station operators, runners/liaisons between print/editing stations and photographer, hospitality hosts, etc. Any and all help is appreciated!

Donations of all sorts of photographic and computer items are needed too. Just write to the email address listed above, if you want to help out and become one of the ‘Hamsters Helping Bellingham!

p.p.s It will make you feel all warm and fuzzy to help out. I promise!

The ‘Ham is a great place to live!

Sustainable Connections

To Market To Market…

Just a few more pictures from the BFM. Enjoy!

All pictures ©Carol A Bourns 2010

Bellingham Books

Today, I became an official ‘hamster, so to speak. I went to the Whatcom County Central Public Library and acquired my library card! I am like a kid in a candy store, when inside a library. You can’t believe the excitement I feel when walking into a library or bookstore. My automatic response is “So Much Knowledge! I want to read it all!”

That’s all for now.




I MUST be a geek. I get excited about library cards. Sheesh…

This Little Piggy Went to Market ….

Yes, I am still editing well over 100 photographs from my excursion to the local farmers’ market, but trust me that the wait for the pics will be worth it. Part of the fun – and frustration – of creating a new post is the decision making: Should I write a little story around the pictures? Create links to vendors’ web pages AND additional photographs? Just the vendors’ pages? Should I break up the post into several posts/entries? Maybe I should just create a pictorial post with links to the vendors at the bottom of the page. Hmmm, decisions. decisions; but I did want to give a “shout out”, before I create my Market Masterpiece, to everyone there.

Bless the vendors at the Bellingham Farmers’ Market (BFM)! They are AWESOME! Everyone there made me smile. I came back home on a manic high. It seemed that everyone there loved talking to the potential consumer about their endeavors and stewardship of food, art, beautiful crafts, etc. That made it exciting for me; I left the market feeling more alive than when I entered it.

We all need connections like this in our lives; good food, wonderful crafts and art, great people pursuing their dream, community, and conversation. Next Saturday, around 9 a.m. close your computer, turn off your television, grab your family (maybe a friend), hop on or in your favorite form of transportation (heck, walk if you are close enough) and head to your local farmers’ market! You will be happy and have a smile after you join your community, even if it is just to have look … and a nibble! Don’t forget to take a big bag to carry all your goodies home with you. Maybe head to a park afterward and have a picnic. Buy local and fresh. You will appreciate your purchases much, much more if you get to meet the people who bring the food to your table and make the arts and crafts for your home.You might even make a new friend (or ten) along the way.

See you next Saturday, my beloved BFM!

Photos ©Carol A. Bourns, 2010

If you want to visit the vendors’ websites without having to dig through my posts, look to the “This Little Piggy…” link on the sidebar here. I am compiling a list as I go along.

All Photos ©Carol Bourns-Roberts, 2010